Joy of SEX- Orgasmic Knowings

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llustration 11- 2 lovers entwined- Ann Rothan

Sex is a human experience that has influenced the course of history of entire civilizations, as well as being a formative force in the life of individuals. Humans are one of the only species that use sex for recreation, not only procreation. (Dolphins are also documented to engage in bisexual activity regularly, not only during fertile seasons.)

Sexual activity is steeped in spirituality and mysticism. The schizophrenic nature of humankind’s struggle with the powerful sexual force can be seen by the attempt to both deify and totally repress sexuality. These opposing views come in and out of favor as the accepted social protocol in various societies throughout the ages. The voluptuous erotic sculptures and artwork that adorns the ancient Hindu temples of India reflects the divine bliss experienced at the instant of orgasm- sexual transcendence. While other religious teachings take great pains to cover all parts of the body with non-erotic apparel in an attempt to sublimate the sexual nature. Civilizations throughout the ages use sexuality as a conduit to transcend usual life experiences. The Kama Sutra is an ancient text that describes sexual positions in detail.

Wilhelm Reich, an associate of Sigmund Freud, describes the energy released during orgasm as ‘orgone energy’, which if used wisely, can decrease or reverse the aging process. Tantric yoga investigates the use of the exchange of male and female energy to consciously experience life as anandrogynous ‘full spectrum’ of reality, where male and female learn sexual techniques to consciously share life force energy . Wicca uses sexual ritual to influence the forces of nature. There is a continuum of female sexual expression that can be represented by the pure Virginal Essence of the Mother Mary and the Harlotimage of Mary Magdellan. Women are free to choose to incorporate either or both into their own self expression. Perhaps the middle path is the road most travelled,with different phases being expressed at different times.

Sex After Menopause

Of all the complaints and fears that women express about the effects of menopause,the possibility of the loss of sexuality is most pervasive. However, a recent study indicates that “Little difference was found between age-matched subgroups of pre- and postmenopausal women in frequency of sexual behavior and attitudes towards their sexual relationships .”(10) In this study 436 women were assessed. Outcomes indicated that while frequency of sexual encounters decreased somewhat with age,enjoyment and satisfaction associated with sex was not related to age. In a very real sense, the old adage, ‘if you don’t use it, you loose it’, applies to sexual function.Women who continue to experience sexual stimulation, either with a partner or via masturbation exhibit less thinning and drying of the vagina after menopause.(11)

Low Libido

Woman of any age may experience a lessening of libido. This is often due to health conditions that lead to fatigue, stress, unhappy emotional relationships, poor nutrition and many other factors. There are also times when a woman may choose to purposely lessen her sexual focus and activity, such as while pursuing a time of internal self reflection and growth.

Techniques to Enhance Sexuality

Diet: The same diet that is used to detoxify the body and control excess aggressive estrogen will also balance hormone function, which leads to better sexual health.Certain foods are believed to increase sexuality. These include Oats, Sea Vegetables, Green Foods, and shellfish, especially oysters.

Visualization: Using the mind to focus on erotic images can enhance the production of sex hormones. This can be a personal mind’s eye ‘movie’ created by the individual, or it can be through the use of videos, photos or other visual stimulation.

Exercise: Regular exercise is paramount for increased sexual activity. Exercise tones, strengthens, and increases endurance. Both the psychological effects of having a positive self image, and the physical effects of balanced hormone production and endorphin(feel good chemicals) release that accompanies regular exercise helps out with sexual fitness. The sex act is in itself good exercise! It increases intra-cellular oxygenation, releases a lot of endorphins, slightly lowers ‘bad’ cholesterol, increases estrogen production in women (especially in menopause), and testosterone in both men and women, regulates menstrual cycles, increases the production of adrenal hormones, and has advantages of aerobic exercise, such as using up calories and burning fat.

The Kegel Exercise is an exercise that is particularly effective at enhancing the sexual experience. This movement strengthens the muscles surrounding the vagina, the pubococcygeus(PC) muscle. It also has the benefit of avoiding or curing the problem of weak bladder control. The Kegel exercise is beneficial to both men and women. Exercising the PC muscle increases local blood and nutrient supplies, tones and increases elasticity and power, and can lead to enhanced sexual sensitivity and more intense orgasms! Quite a lot of benefit from an exercise that can be done anywhere, anytime, with no one knowing you are doing it.

Kegel Exercise Instructions:

While you are urinating, attempt to stop the stream of fluid. Hold for a few seconds, then release again. Do this several times. Continue to practice during every urination until you know how to ‘isolate’ the PC muscle.

Now incorporate the exercise in your daily life- not only while urinating. Squeeze the muscle and hold for 2 seconds, then release. Repeat five times. Do this 2-3 times/day. As you become comfortable increase the time you hold, and add repetitions. More advanced practice includes clamping the anal sphincter, and adding in a ‘bearing down’ movement.. all without contracting the buttocks.

To aid in remembering to do the Kegel, you can coordinate it along with other daily life activities, such as brushing your teeth. The time spent commuting to work is ideal. What better way is there to stay stress free in a traffic jam, than to allow your mind to enjoy a sexual fantasy while you Kegel!

Herbs to Enhance The Joy of Sex

Womankind (and mankind too) has experimented with various plant substances throughout history in an endless search for useful aphrodisiacs. Many folkloric tales of sexual potency are linked to herbs. Although some of these stories are probably just wishful thinking, there are some herbs that have stood the test of time in their ability to stimulate and sustain sexuality, either during a particular love making session, or over a lifespan into advanced age.

Prepare a potent ‘love potion’:

Some of the herbs that enhance female sexuality include:

  • Red Raspberry
  • Red Clover
  • Siberian Ginseng
  • Ginger
  • Oats
  • Damiana
  • Fenugreek and
  • Kava kava.

Combine 20 drops of Extract of each herb in ½ cup warm water. Add ½ ounce of Amaretto or some other flavoured liquor. Relax and enjoy!

300px-Red_deer_stag_velvetDeer Antler, although not technically an herb, has been prized in Chinese medicine for centuries as a sexual stimulant. The expression ‘horny’ may be linked to this fact. It is considered one of the strongest ‘yang’ tonics. This animal based product is harvested without harm to the animals, since they shed their antlers naturally. Scientific studies show that deer antler is useful for anemia. It can increase both the number of red blood cells as well as the amount of hemoglobin they contain. In women deer antler increases the strength of contraction and the tone of the uterus. It has an adaptogenic effect and increases overall strength and endurance, and decreases fatigue, as supported by tests done on athletes. Current research is linking the use of deer antler, as well as the velvet that is scraped off, to many health enhancing effects, including cartilage growth and repair, increase of IGF-1( an indicator of the amount of Human Growth Factor which tends to decrease with age), blood pressure and cholesterol balancing, enhanced immune function , and a decrease in stress related illness.

300px-ginseng-641890_640Panax Ginseng is recognized for thousands of years as a powerful tonic, which gives the user the strength and power of youth. Often called ‘Chinese Ginseng’, the shape of this root resembles the human form, and is a powerful sexual tonic, as well as an overall adaptogen.

Maca ( Lepidium meyenii) , also called Peruvian Ginseng, although it is unrelated to ginseng, but part of the cruciferous vegetable family, like cabbage , kale and broccoli. It grows in Andes Mountains The part of the plant used is the tuberous root structure . It is high in essential fatty acids, minerals( phosphorus, calcium, magnesium, zinc), vitamins B, C and E, various phytosterols, and other nutritional factors known for their importance to sexual function. Research has uncovered specific compounds, macamides and macaenes, which showed a significant increase in sexual function in laboratory animals in controlled trials.( Urology, April 2000).

History reports that Incan warriors used maca before battle to increase strength and endurance. It has been used throughout recorded history up to the present day by both men and women as an aphrodisiac.

300px-Planta_muira_puamaMuira Puama (Ptychopetalum olacoides) known as ‘Warrior Wood” and “ Potency Wood”, is used by the people of the northern Amazon area in Brazil for many health issues. It is considered a tonic for the neuromuscular system, and helps with joint pains, menstrual cramps, PMS symptoms and mental disturbance. The entire plant is used in medicinal preparations, and contains sterols, including beta-sitosterol, which may account for its activity as a sexual stimulant. Muira Puama is listed in the British Herbal Pharmacopoeia, and is recommended for the treatment of impotence. In Brazil , it is used by both men and women to increase libido and sexual performance. Studies in France have verified its usefulness for men for both increased libido and impotence.

300px-yohimbeYohimbe (Pausinystalia yohimbe) is derived from bark stripped from a tall evergreen West African tree. In its native land Yohimbe may be made into a tea, smoked, or processed into a powder and sniffed. In the western world, yohimbine, the primary active constituent of yohimbe, is actually a prescription drug, yohimbine hydrochloride, used for erectile dysfunction in men. Yohimbe increases testosterone blood levels in both men and women, causing enhanced sex drive. It also stimulates circulation to the genitals. This is especially helpful for men with decreased penile circulation, and may offset vaginal atrophy in women. Dosage is important with this herb. Stick to the label directions on the product you are using. Do not use with kidney or liver disease, high blood pressure, or heart arrhythmias. Possible side effects include anxiety, increased blood pressure, and facial hair growth in women. The Journal of Urology (February 1998) reported that these side effects are infrequent and reversible. It is interesting to note that some people who experience these effects with the herbal extract have no problem taking the prescription drug!

Essential Oils and Lubricants

Essential oils can enhance the sexual experience in several ways. Scented oils set the ‘mood’ by stimulated our all important olfactory nerves. The sense of smell is closely linked to areas of the brain that regulate the release of hormones, including sex hormones.

When choosing essential oils, use pure oils from a health food store or order them from a high quality aromatherapy manufacturer. Commercial products that contain chemicals and fillers are often labeled as ‘Aromatherapy’, but they are not the right choice. Read the label carefully; especially “other ingredients.”

Essential Oil Use:

These oils are known for their aphrodisiac properties:

  • Ylang-ylang,
  • Sandalwood,
  • Patchouli,
  • Rose,
  • Musk,
  • Jasmine and
  • Vanilla
  1. Rub a few drops of oil on a light bulb before turning on the light.
  2. In a 2 ounce spritzer bottle, fill with spring water, add 5 drops of each oil, or any combination of the ones you enjoy. Spray around the room, and on yourself
  3. Add 5-10 drops of any combination of oils to a warm bath
  4. For direct massage, add a few drops of essential oil to a ‘base’ oil, such as sesame or almond oil. The essential oils are too strong to put directly on the skin, especially delicate mucous membranes.

Lubricants:

The best sexual lubricant is natural vaginal secretions. Saliva also works well. When more lubrication is needed, there are many water-based commercial lubricants on the market. However, many of them tend to dry up very quickly. Here are two oil based products that I have found to work quite well as sexual lubricants:

  1. Aura Glow Almond Scent by Heritage Products. This is an all-natural massage oil that works excellently well as an overall skin moisturizer. It is safe to use intra-vaginally. Available in Health Food Stores.
  2. Albolene Liquifying Cleanser works well as a sexual lubricant for occasional use. It contains Mineral Oil and Paraffin, so it is not all natural, but is long lasting and effective.

by Ellen Kamhi Ph.D., R.N.
The Natural Nurse

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5 thoughts on “Joy of SEX- Orgasmic Knowings”

    1. Coconut oil, or anything else that contains fat, is not compatible with condoms. It weakens them and they break.

      1. Oil based lubricants may interfere with latex condoms and cause them to leak or break. If you use Polyurethane or polyisoprene condoms, oil based lubricants do not cause them to break down.

  1. The information about kegel exercises is out of date. Do not practice by stopping the flow of urine. It can be harmful, and has led to people having difficulty peeing and emptying the bladder fully.

    1. The KEGEL exercise does not involve continuing to stop the flow of urine. The technique can be used once or twice to allow someone to recognize the appropriate action to isolate the muscles involved. It is then practiced with an empty bladder, as we discuss in the article. It can be done anywhere, such as while waiting on a line, sitting at your desk, etc.

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