by Ellen Kamhi Ph.D., R.N.
The Natural Nurse

Joy of SEX- Orgasmic Knowings

Illustration 11- 2 lovers entwined- Ann Rothan

Sex is a human experience that has influenced the course of history of entire
civilizations, as well as being a formative force in the life of individuals. Humans are
one of the only species that use sex for recreation, not only procreation. (Dolphins
are also documented to engage in bisexual activity regularly, not only during fertile
seasons.) Sexual activity is steeped in spirituality and mysticism. The
schizophrenic nature of humankind’s struggle with the powerful sexual force can be
seen by the attempt to both deify and totally repress sexuality. These opposing views
come in and out of favor as the accepted social protocol in various societies
throughout the ages. The voluptuous erotic sculptures and artwork that adorns the
ancient Hindu temples of India reflects the divine bliss experienced at the instant of
orgasm- sexual transcendence. While other religious teachings take great pains to
cover all parts of the body with non-erotic apparel in an attempt to sublimate the
sexual nature. Civilizations throughout the ages use sexuality as a conduit to
transcend usual life experiences. The Kama Sutra is an ancient text that describes
sexual positions in detail. Wilhelm Reich, an associate of Sigmund Freud,
describes the energy released during orgasm as ‘orgone energy’, which if used
wisely, can decrease or reverse the aging process. Tantric yoga investigates the use
of the exchange of male and female energy to consciously experience life as an
androgynous ‘full spectrum’ of reality, where male and female learn sexual
techniques to consciously share life force energy . Wicca uses sexual ritual to
influence the forces of nature. There is a continuum of female sexual expression that
can be represented by the pure Virginal Essence of the Mother Mary and the Harlot
image of Mary Magdellan. Women are free to choose to incorporate either or both
into their own self expression. Perhaps the middle path is the road most traveled,
with different phases being expressed at different times.

Sex After Menopause

Of all the complaints and fears that women express about the effects of menopause,
the possibility of the loss of sexuality is most pervasive. However, a recent study
indicates that “Little difference was found between age-matched subgroups of pre-
and postmenopausal women in frequency of sexual behavior and attitudes towards
their sexual relationships .”(10) In this study 436 women were assessed. Outcomes
indicated that while frequency of sexual encounters decreased somewhat with age,
enjoyment and satisfaction associated with sex was not related to age. In a very real
sense, the old adage, ‘if you don’t use it, you loose it’, applies to sexual function.
Women who continue to experience sexual stimulation, either with a partner or via
masturbation exhibit less thinning and drying of the vagina after menopause.(11)

Low Libido

Woman of any age may experience a lessening of libido. This is often due to health
conditions that lead to fatigue, stress, unhappy emotional relationships, poor nutrition
and many other factors. There are also times when a woman may choose to
purposely lessen her sexual focus and activity, such as while pursuing a time of
internal self reflection and growth.

Techniques to Enhance Sexuality

Diet: The same diet that is used to detoxify the body and control excess aggressive
estrogen will also balance hormone function, which leads to better sexual health.
Certain foods are believed to increase sexuality. These include Oats, Sea
Vegetables, Green Foods, and shellfish, especially oysters.

Visualization: Using the mind to focus on erotic images can enhance the production
of sex hormones. This can be a personal mind’s eye ‘movie’ created by the individual,
or it can be through the use of videos, photos or other visual stimulation.

Exercise: Regular exercise is paramount for increased sexual activity. Exercise
tones, strengthens, and increases endurance. Both the psychological effects of
having a positive self image, and the physical effects of balanced hormone production
and endorphin(feel good chemicals) release that accompanies regular exercise helps
out with sexual fitness. The sex act is in itself good exercise! It increases
intra-cellular oxygenation, releases a lot of endorphins, slightly lowers ‘bad’
cholesterol, increases estrogen production in women (especially in menopause), and
testosterone in both men and women, regulates menstrual cycles, increases the
production of adrenal hormones, and has advantages of aerobic exercise, such as
using up calories and burning fat.

The Kegel Exercise is an exercise that is particularly effective at enhancing the
sexual experience. This movement strengthens the muscles surrounding the vagina,
the pubococcygeus(PC) muscle. It also has the benefit of avoiding or curing the
problem of weak bladder control. The Kegel exercise is beneficial to both men and
women. Exercising the PC muscle increases local blood and nutrient supplies, tones
and increases elasticity and power, and can lead to enhanced sexual sensitivity and
more intense orgasms! Quite a lot of benefit from an exercise that can be done
anywhere, anytime, with no one knowing you are doing it.

Kegel Exercise Instructions:

While you are urinating, attempt to stop the stream of fluid. Hold for a few seconds,
then release again. Do this several times. Continue to practice during every urination
until you know how to ‘isolate’ the PC muscle.

Now incorporate the exercise in your daily life- not only while urinating. Squeeze the
muscle and hold for 2 seconds, then release. Repeat five times. Do this 2-3
times/day. As you become comfortable increase the time you hold, and add
repetitions. More advanced practice includes clamping the anal sphincter, and adding
in a ‘bearing down’ movement.. all without contracting the buttocks.

To aid in remembering to do the Kegel, you can coordinate it along with other daily
life activities, such as brushing your teeth. The time spent commuting to work is
ideal. What better way is there to stay stress free in a traffic jam, than to allow your
mind to enjoy a sexual fantasy while you Kegel!

Herbs to Enhance The Joy of Sex

Womankind (and mankind too) has experimented with various plant substances
throughout history in an endless search for useful aphrodisiacs. Many folkloric tales
of sexual potency are linked to herbs. Although some of these stories are probably
just wishful thinking, there are some herbs that have stood the test of time in their
ability to stimulate and sustain sexuality, either during a particular love making
session, or over a lifespan into advanced age.

Prepare a potent ‘love potion’:

Some of the herbs that enhance female sexuality include: Red Raspberry, Red
Clover, Siberian Ginseng, Ginger, Oats, Damiana, Fenugreek and Kava kava.

Combine 20 drops of Extract of each herb in ½ cup warm water. Add ½ ounce of
Amaretto or some other flavoured liquor. Relax and enjoy!

Deer Antler, although not technically an herb, has been prized in Chinese medicine
for centuries as a sexual stimulant. The expression ‘horny’ may be linked to this fact.
It is considered one of the strongest ‘yang’ tonics. This animal based product is
harvested without harm to the animals, since they shed their antlers naturally.
Scientific studies show that deer antler is useful for anemia. It can increase both the
number of red blood cells as well as the amount of hemoglobin they contain. In
women deer antler increases the strength of contraction and the tone of the uterus. It
has an adaptogenic effect and increases overall strength and endurance, and
decreases fatigue, as supported by tests done on athletes. Current research is
linking the use of deer antler, as well as the velvet that is scraped off, to many health
enhancing effects, including cartilage growth and repair, increase of IGF-1( an
indicator of the amount of Human Growth Factor which tends to decrease with age),
blood pressure and cholesterol balancing, enhanced immune function , and a
decrease in stress related illness.

Panax Ginseng is recognized for thousands of years as a powerful tonic, which
gives the user the strength and power of youth. Often called ‘Chinese Ginseng’, the
shape of this root resembles the human form, and is a powerful sexual tonic, as well
as an overall adaptogen.

Maca( Lepidium meyenii) , also called Peruvian Ginseng, although it is unrelated to
ginseng, but part of the cruciferous vegetable family, like cabbage , kale and
broccoli. It grows in Andes Mountains The part of the plant used is the tuberous root
structure . It is high in essential fatty acids, minerals( phosphorus, calcium,
magnesium, zinc), vitamins B, C and E, various phytosterols, and other nutritional
factors known for their importance to sexual function. Research has uncovered
specific compounds, macamides and macaenes, which showed a significant
increase in sexual function in laboratory animals in controlled trials.( Urology, April
2000).

History reports that Incan warriors used maca before battle to increase strength and
endurance. It has been used throughout recorded history up to the present day by
both men and women as an aphrodisiac.

Muira Puama(Ptychopetalum olacoides) known as ‘Warrior Wood” and “ Potency
Wood”, is used by the people of the northern Amazon area in Brazil for many health
issues. It is considered a tonic for the neuromuscular system, and helps with joint
pains, menstrual cramps, PMS symptoms and mental disturbance. The entire plant
is used in medicinal preparations, and contains sterols, including beta-sitosterol,
which may account for its activity as a sexual stimulant. Muira Puama is listed in the
British Herbal Pharmacopoeia, and is recommended for the treatment of impotence.
In Brazil , it is used by both men and women to increase libido and sexual
performance. Studies in France have verified its usefulness for men for both increased
libido and impotence.

Yohimbe( Pausinystalia yohimbe) is derived from bark stripped from a tall
evergreen West African tree. In its native land Yohimbe may be made into a tea,
smoked, or processed into a powder and sniffed. In the western world, yohimbine,
the primary active constituent of yohimbe, is actually a prescription drug, yohimbine
hydrochloride, used for erectile dysfunction in men. Yohimbe increases testosterone
blood levels in both men and women, causing enhanced sex drive. It also stimulates
circulation to the genitals. This is especially helpful for men with decreased penile
circulation, and may offset vaginal atrophy in women. Dosage is important with this
herb. Stick to the label directions on the product you are using. Do not use with
kidney or liver disease, high blood pressure, or heart arrhythmias. Possible side
effects include anxiety, increased blood pressure, and facial hair growth in women.
The Journal of Urology (February 1998) reported that these side effects are infrequent
and reversible. It is interesting to note that some people who experience these effects
with the herbal extract have no problem taking the prescription drug!

Essential Oils and Lubricants

Essential oils can enhance the sexual experience in several ways. Scented oils set
the ‘mood’ by stimulated our all important olfactory nerves. The sense of smell is
closely linked to areas of the brain that regulate the release of hormones, including
sex hormones.

When choosing essential oils, use pure oils from a health food store or order them
from a high quality aromatherapy manufacturer. Commercial products that contain
chemicals and fillers are often labeled as ‘Aromatherapy’, but they are not the right
choice. Read the label carefully; especially “other ingredients.”

Essential Oil Use:

These oils are known for their aphrodisiac properties:

Ylang-ylang, Sandalwood, Patchouli, Rose, Musk, Jasmine and Vanilla

1) Rub a few drops of oil on a light bulb before turning on the light.

2) In a 2 ounce spritzer bottle, fill with spring water, add 5 drops of each oil, or any

combination of the ones you enjoy. Spray around the room, and on yourself

3) Add 5-10 drops of any combination of oils to a warm bath

4) for direct massage, add a few drops of essential oil to a ‘base’ oil,

such as sesame or almond oil. The essential oils are too strong to

put directly on the skin, especially delicate mucous membranes.

Lubricants:

The best sexual lubricant is natural vaginal secretions. Saliva also works well. When
more lubrication is needed, there are many water-based commercial lubricants on the
market. However, many of them tend to dry up very quickly. Here are two oil based
products that I have found to work quite well as sexual lubricants:

1) Aura Glow Almond Scent by Heritage Products. This is an all-natural
massage oil that works excellently well as an overall skin moisturizer. It is
safe to use intra-vaginally. Available in Health Food Stores.

Albolene Liquifying Cleanser works well as a sexual lubricant for occasional use.
It contains Mineral Oil and Paraffin, so it is not all natural, but is long lasting and
effective.